I am a hopeful believer in Christ who struggles with codependency & grief, my name is Traci and I am the ministry leader of Celebrate Recovery at Northeast Christian Church. So, let me just stop there, that is a typical CR introduction. We know that when you hide a problem you are much less likely to deal with it. That is why we call out our struggles, to put them front and center, however that does not define who we are. Our high power, Jesus, defines our identity. So, I am a believer who struggles but that is not my identity. As a person in recovery I am passionate about creating a safe place for all to process their hurts, hangups and habits. Celebrate Recovery recently added to that list of hurts and the new list includes healing from the trauma of Racial Injustice. I want to reiterate here that if you are struggling with trauma from Racism, it is NOT your fault. You are NOT guilty. We don’t blame a victim of sexual assault or abuse, neither do we blame a victim of Racism. There is Hope! My hope is that we will have a safe place for all to heal and process the effects of this trauma.

For this reason I started on a journey of relearning history. Part of that journey includes being silent when black voices are speaking, listening, reading, watching, listening some more. One of the tools I use is called Be The Bridge which works towards racial reconciliation. One of the processes we were encouraged to do is to Lament. A Lament is a passionate expression of grief and loss. This is the Lament that I wrote.

Oh Lord God, you have made the Heavens and the earth. You created everyone in your image. I know that you see the injustice in our country, in our city. Young children being arrested & pepper sprayed, protestors being sat on, tackled to the ground, lives lost to the sounds of being shot in the back, sat on, shot in her bed, I can’t breathe.

The shouts of I can’t breathe are ringing in the streets and have for a long time. How long Lord will this continue? How do we bring peace and reconciliation to a system that is so broken? How do we bring awareness to people who won’t listen but judge first on the color of someone’s skin. 

Lord, my heart is so heavy, I’m sad & angry for those who shout in the downtown areas and in the city. I see their pain, I hear their hearts. New hurts, New Trauma built on a history of hurt & trauma. How Long Lord? How long do people have to suffer at the hands of injustice? How much more do you see? I know that you are a God of justice yet you see that there is no justice, you see the lack of peace. You see the oppression and mistreatment of people of color. A people you created in your image. I trust that you see more than I do. In that, I have Hope. 

Lord, help me to see, to listen, to act to move, to go where I need to be. To be still when I need to be still. Help me to love as you love. Help me to seek mercy and to speak hope when all seems hopeless. You Lord are my hope, you Lord are my strength and shield. You are my fortress. You have created everyone in your image. I know that you can bring the Justice, Mercy and Peace that our city needs. Thank you Lord for guiding me, for leading me. You, oh Lord are the God of reconciliation, You are the God of Peace, the God of Hope. You are my Hope and my salvation, I will trust in you.

With that I am in! Which simply means, I am present, I stand with you.